The hair tips, advice and recommendations given on this blog are given based on the experiences of the authors. These tips may not work for everyone and every hair type and it is important to acknowledge this since we are neither hair specialists nor trichologists.

Also many pictures on this blog belong to the authors but there are others that we do not have ownership for and thus we do not claim ownership of the ones that do not belong to us.

Sunday, August 21, 2011


One of my cousins was celebrating his birthday and organized a low-key celebration at Elegushi beach in Lagos state. We were to bring our own food, chairs, games and drinks. He would bring the suya, music and invite the guests. Lagos can be hectic so any reason to relax was good enough for me.

The jolly greetings of friends were floating around when we arrived. I got there with another cousin and her husband. You don’t want to go to these things alone. We looked around, spotted the celebrant and made our way to him. Birthday Boy is a wanna be DJ so he tries to “spin his hits” anytime he can. I think anyone can do anything with an iPod and some software. He tells me that it is a genius that can do anything with an iPod and some software.

We said our greetings to Birthday Boy and he gave us the general gist of the agenda. “Find somewhere to park yourselves. Mingle, dance and have a good time you hear?” No time to acknowledge his instructions before he turned to greet someone else. “That’s our cue.” My cousin’s husband said and we made our way to some free parking space.

We put our chairs and coolers down. I announced to my crew that I was going to get my feet wet. “Don’t drown” my cousin instructed me. I smiled and continued my journey to the water. When I got there, I waited for a wave to come to me and a small one did. I could see another wave forming and I started moving back slowly as if we were playing tag. The wave tagged me. 

“Your hair smells nice today” I heard a voice say behind me. I turned around and he was smiling. I remember that smile. “You found her!” Birthday Boy yelled loud enough for the whole beach crowd, fish and crabs in the sea to hear. He nodded at me still smiling. “Long time” he said as he leaned forward to hug me. We hugged. “Yeah, been a while” I answered. It has been 3 years since we broke up. Is that “a while” or does it fall into the realm of “ages”? Why was he looking more handsome than I remember?

“You look well” he told me. I wish he had said that I was looking so good he was confused. “Thank you” I replied. “How now?” I asked. “I did not know you were in town. When did you come in from Calabar?” He was still smiling. I still remember that smile. “How would you know I am in town when we have not talked for 3 years?” was his response. He was right. After we broke up, I thought it would be best to keep some (a lot of) distance. He moved to Calabar and I remained in Lagos. 

For some reason he looked different and as we talked I could not quite figure it out. It was when he commented on my hair still being natural that it clicked. He had grown his hair out a bit and was carrying a bit of an afro. “You grew an afro?” I questioned accusingly. He nodded. When we dated, he did not mind my hair being natural; he just did not like me wearing it in its natural form. He preferred me in braids or weaves. He complained when I wore my hair in puffs or twist outs or afros. For some reason he was not comfortable with these hairstyles. He argued that they made me stand out (especially the afro) and that he did not think they were “neat” enough. I tried to convince him otherwise the best way I knew how but we always hit an impasse on the issue. 3 years later dude is rocking an afro.

“My fiancé (Ouch! I thought) has alopecia. The doctors say the best way to manage it is if she stops using relaxers. So she did and I am supporting her by growing an afro” Awwww how sweet I thought. Then I felt a little bit hurt that he did not do that for me when we dated.
“Is she here?” I asked. Not sure why though.
“No. she is in Calabar.” He replied.

We chatted a little more and I excused myself. I said something about me wanting to make sure the people I came with had not left me. Really Cabella?
“I understand" he responded. "I’ll see you around?” he asked.
“Take care” I replied. I turned and walked away. My preference would have been to run but beach sand makes that option difficult. As I walked away, I remembered the song by Great Big Sea that goes “How did we get from saying I love you to I’ll see you around someday?”  Check out the song below.



amature said...

It happens to the best of us.Good thing you didn't give up the fro.
I love my fro come rain, come shine come anything (but not Denzel, Will Smith, Obama, Brian McKnight......)Ok let just leave it at come rain or shine.

Rakiya Usman said...

I love reading your stories, very interesting..and the pictures to make it all seem true!